Name: Linda
Friday, August 24, 2007
Scarlett O'Hara Here
If this post has a familiar ring to it that would be because in the little over a year I’ve been blogging I’ve written the same post at least two other times. It is a tribute to my Scarlet O’Hara mentality (“I’ll think about that tomorrow.”) that I find myself writing it once again. The expression “one step forward, two steps back” very aptly describes my Christian walk.
My intention was to write this before I did anything else on the computer this morning. However I decided to check my bloglines first (and therein lies the problem) and couldn’t resist reading a few posts. When I read Cyndi’s entitled “Pleasant Boundaries”, I knew it was an answer to the prayer I’ve been praying for several weeks now – “Lord, please help me to order my days according to Your plan – and not mine.” I have been completely undisciplined with my time spending far too many hours on the computer. It has to change – it just has to.
I have cut down the amount of writing I’ve done – putting up only three or four posts a week. However, that really isn’t the time-consuming part of all this. It is the time I spend reading and commenting on other posts. Everyone has very kindly said over and over again that they are not offended if we don’t read and comment on every post, but for some reason I feel as though I just have to. I’m so concerned about hurting or disappointing someone if I don’t comment for a few days. It seems that whenever I do miss a few days something urgent happens and I’m days late praying for them or encouraging them.
It occurs to me as I write this that there is more than a little pride involved in all of this. I’m sure the blogging community would roll happily along if I were to disappear altogether. And there is always that ugly monster names “Approval” that rears his ugly head. The need to be liked and well thought of is something I simply need to get over! In the process of winning the approval of others, I’m short-changing the people who are truly important in my life. I have even allowed it to interfere with my Quiet Time – putting it off for so long it is either rushed or not done at all.
So here is the plan. I’m not even going to allow myself to turn on the computer until my Quiet Time is over. When I do, I am going to limit my time. I have piano lessons that are becoming increasingly difficult and require much more practice time. I want very much to learn to play well. Wednesdays are my day for Bible Study, church volunteer work and choir practice. I want to just allow myself more quiet time to do some thinking and writing. I want to give the Lord time to speak to my heart and direct my steps.
That will mean I won’t be able to visit everyone every day. It actually hurts my heart to write that, but I know this is the right thing for me to do. I don’t want to give up blogging. I believe the Lord put it in my life in the first place. I just let it get out of hand. I have never been very good at balance. I tend to get carried away with things – and then finally crash and burn. I’m giving this back to the Lord.
Please hold me accountable. If you see me back to the same old routine, feel free to call me on it. If there is an urgent need and I’ve missed it, please email me and let me know.
So…..there you have it – again. This time I simply have to do it right. I am tired of feeling guilty and burdened every time I pray. I know the Lord has been speaking to me, and I’ve just been going on my merry way. Please forgive me Father and help me, by Your grace, to live each day according to Your plan.
Thanks for listening to me again. I feel very much the way I do when I declare to my husband, “I’m going to start dieting this week!” He is very sweet not to remind me I’ve said that a hundred times before - and I still haven't lost that seven pounds!!
Blessings,
My intention was to write this before I did anything else on the computer this morning. However I decided to check my bloglines first (and therein lies the problem) and couldn’t resist reading a few posts. When I read Cyndi’s entitled “Pleasant Boundaries”, I knew it was an answer to the prayer I’ve been praying for several weeks now – “Lord, please help me to order my days according to Your plan – and not mine.” I have been completely undisciplined with my time spending far too many hours on the computer. It has to change – it just has to.
I have cut down the amount of writing I’ve done – putting up only three or four posts a week. However, that really isn’t the time-consuming part of all this. It is the time I spend reading and commenting on other posts. Everyone has very kindly said over and over again that they are not offended if we don’t read and comment on every post, but for some reason I feel as though I just have to. I’m so concerned about hurting or disappointing someone if I don’t comment for a few days. It seems that whenever I do miss a few days something urgent happens and I’m days late praying for them or encouraging them.
It occurs to me as I write this that there is more than a little pride involved in all of this. I’m sure the blogging community would roll happily along if I were to disappear altogether. And there is always that ugly monster names “Approval” that rears his ugly head. The need to be liked and well thought of is something I simply need to get over! In the process of winning the approval of others, I’m short-changing the people who are truly important in my life. I have even allowed it to interfere with my Quiet Time – putting it off for so long it is either rushed or not done at all.
So here is the plan. I’m not even going to allow myself to turn on the computer until my Quiet Time is over. When I do, I am going to limit my time. I have piano lessons that are becoming increasingly difficult and require much more practice time. I want very much to learn to play well. Wednesdays are my day for Bible Study, church volunteer work and choir practice. I want to just allow myself more quiet time to do some thinking and writing. I want to give the Lord time to speak to my heart and direct my steps.
That will mean I won’t be able to visit everyone every day. It actually hurts my heart to write that, but I know this is the right thing for me to do. I don’t want to give up blogging. I believe the Lord put it in my life in the first place. I just let it get out of hand. I have never been very good at balance. I tend to get carried away with things – and then finally crash and burn. I’m giving this back to the Lord.
Please hold me accountable. If you see me back to the same old routine, feel free to call me on it. If there is an urgent need and I’ve missed it, please email me and let me know.
So…..there you have it – again. This time I simply have to do it right. I am tired of feeling guilty and burdened every time I pray. I know the Lord has been speaking to me, and I’ve just been going on my merry way. Please forgive me Father and help me, by Your grace, to live each day according to Your plan.
Thanks for listening to me again. I feel very much the way I do when I declare to my husband, “I’m going to start dieting this week!” He is very sweet not to remind me I’ve said that a hundred times before - and I still haven't lost that seven pounds!!
Blessings,
10 Comments:
Blogging is absolutely so addictive, I know what you are talking about!!! Today is a good example...all I've done today is read some blogs and clean the house. Forget the deadlines I have looming at me! LOL But, I will get back to it!
I agree, though, that when it gets in the way of our quiet time or other things that HAVE to get done, we need to scale back.
You can do it. And we will love seeing you when you do pop in!!
You know that I've really cut back my time blogging and commenting, Linda. But I still spend a bit too much time on here occasionally.
As much as we love each other here in our blogging community, our family and home should come before our blogging. Charity begins at home after all.
We'll be happier with a happier and more contented Linda. Do what you have to do, dear heart.
Love and hugs,
Diane
Linda,
First of all, I totally applaud you on your quest to learn the piano! I started playing when I Was 3 and stopped when the kids came. I miss it terribly.
So, BRAVO! BRAVO!
I'll always be here when you are. You know that. I respect your desire for accountability. And heck- there's always email :)
As always. Hugs and hugs.
Oh, Linda! I so understand! In fact, the post of mine you linked is only my second post of the week! I was going through the same struggle a few months ago when I wrote the post about "God's Site Meter." I realized that the site meters on people's blogs recorded more of my time spent reading *them* than God's Word (if it had a site meter) would record, on certain days. It was then that I realized I had to make a change. I still struggle many days! I think you are so, so wise to ask to be held accountable. What a good idea! I'm thinking of some areas in which I need to do that.
As always, I am blessed, encouraged, and inspired by your transparency and honesty. What a precious sister in Christ you are!
I have run into exactly the same problem--which is why I have cut my posts back to posting paintings (which keeps me painting) and photos (which keeps me involved in my kids lives more than just school work). I still comment WAY too much but have cut back a lot. And the DONT TURN THE COMPUTER ON UNTIL YOU HAVE HAD DEVOTIONS thing. Um, yeah--need to do that more often too. Some days I do well but as soon as I leave my bedroom before doing my quiet time, forget it.
Dear Linda, This has been weighing on my mind and I find myself limiting my blogging time more and more. As much as I enjoy blogging, I have sensed that I have allowed it to distract from the most important ones in my life (my dear family). I am praying and trying to decipher God's plan in this area for me as our school year begins and my husband returns, as well. My prayers are with you and thank you for such an honest, heartfelt post. You touched my heart. Blessings to you my dear sister in Christ.
Blogging is so time-consuming. If it weren't so much fun, I don't think we'd be in so much trouble with our time. I know what you're saying here, and we just all have to step back and away from time to time.
I read my favorite blogs, but I don't comment on each one because it just adds time on to it. I think we all understand each other's feelings about it pretty well.
Linda...you have completely spoken not just from your heart, but from mine, it seems!
I have fallen into many of the same traps you have described...in the posting and in the trying to comment to everyone.
I want to hear God's voice and put Him completely first...my family second...and so on.
For me, this is one of my only current "me time" things that isn't all for my family- especially since I home school...but I need to use balance and obey God's voice in everything...so thank you for this post, Linda. It is just what I needed to read....
And please let me just add that you are a complete blessing to me!
I think we all know just what you are saying, from personal experience. I don't have as much time, as I would love to have to read and comment, but there are more important things to see to aren't there. We love you whether you are commenting regularly or not, Linda. You do what is right for you. I am so impressed re the piano playing! You could always record and post your music for us too!
Sometimes it does seem hard to find the balance to blogging. I often feel the same way - it's not writing posts, but the reading and commenting that takes up so much time! And I feel guilty if I don't comment on every single post of every person in my bloglines! I finally had to realize that was ridiculous, there were just times I didn't have the time to. I realized life goes on, and their blog will go on if they don't receive a comment from me! I still make sure I at least read all the new posts on bloglines, just so I know if there is anything going on, but I've allowed myself to not comment if I just can't do it right then. I think we all understand where you're coming from and won't be offended in the least if you're not commenting all the time!
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