I have been conspicuously absent for the past few days. Life has just been busy. Thankfully it hasn't been "bad news busy" - just pleasantly filled with family and friends. I haven't found a way to do all those things and still keep up with blogging. I wish I could. I miss "chatting" with all of you, and I don't want to miss anything important! :-)

Monday was my birthday. Thank you for your sweet birthday wishes. It is so sweet to be remembered. Pea faithfully keeps track of all our special days. She is wonderful. My Mom and Dad came for a visit Sunday afternoon, and the kids and grandkids were here Monday evening. My daughter baked me a delicious hazelnut-chocolate birthday cake. I think the best present was sharing good conversation and lots of laughter with my grown children and sweet little granddaughters. The rest of the family in Dallas called and sang "Happy Birthday to Grandma". It is so sweet to hear all those voices singing. Later in the afternoon, the florist delivered a big bouquet of flowers from them to my front door. I had a very special day.

Yesterday was our last Bible Study for the fall session. We always have a luncheon that last day. I looked at those ladies sitting around our little table and felt so blessed. We've been together for several years now. We've shared from our hearts. There have been many tears shed (we've learned to have tissues handy) and much laughter. I have learned to so much from them. We've prayed each other through so many difficult times. I'm going to miss them over the next few months.

Our new study in the spring will be Beth Moore's new one on Esther. I'm really looking forward to it.

Our last session was on Psalm 139. That Psalm has been a life-line for me over the past several years. I thought I had gleaned everything from it that I could. I should have known better. The amazing thing about God's word is that there is always something new. It may be a passage I have read over and over many times, and then suddenly I see it in a new way.

Dee Brestin wrote, "How can we possibly know our hearts, our talents, our complex bodies, and our very souls? Only through the Spirit of God, who knit us together in our mother's womb, can we hope to have any true understanding of ourselves. He knows us so well, being familiar with all our ways, that it is only in submission to Him and through His revelation that we can have any hope of knowing ourselves."

I don't know if anyone else is like me. Even at this advanced age of sixty-two, I struggle to know who I really am. I get so perplexed whenever I try to answer one of those personality questionnaires. I stare at the choices and wonder which one truly and accurately describes me. And just exactly what are my gifts? Talents? - not terribly sure about those either.

So that portion of the lesson just quickened something in me. I can only truly know myself through the Father. I was reading The Message this morning and read this in the first chapter of John:
"He came to His own people, but they didn't want Him. But whoever did want Him, who believed He was who He claimed and would do what He said, He made to be their true selves, their child-of-God selves."

I want that to be who I really am - a child of God. As I live out each day, I don't need to be concerned with self and who that self is and what that self needs and wants - I simply submit to His will for my life and find fulfillment. I am then the wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, friend ..... and so much more that He wants me to be. The gifts and the talents will flow through that.

Another of those questions that can easily confuse me is, "What is your passion?" I love doing lots of things - but my passion? I think now that I want my passion to be Him. Wouldn't that make all the things I love to do that much more fulfilling?

Perhaps I am the only one who struggles with such questions. I often think of myself as a little girl still struggling to finally grow up. I just look all grown up, old even :-), on the outside.

Tomorrow our little granddaughters are coming to spend the night. We will pick them up from school in the afternoon and then just have FUN!! We're looking forward to it. I probably won't get to visit much over the next few days, but I'll try to get caught up on sunday. See you soon.

Blessings,