Name: Linda
Monday, July 14, 2008
Journaling
For years I kept a Journal. I sort of "finished things" by writing them down. An event, an idea, a spiritual insight, the dailiness of life wasn't complete for me until I had written it down. They piled up on the shelf of my closet, hidden from view, beautifully covered books that contained not just the record of my life but the secrets of my heart.
As the children grew and one by one left the nest, I began to think that some of those secrets were best kept between the Lord and I. I wrote with no inner censor - just poured my heart out onto the pages - and some of the words could have proven hurtful without me there to explain. I didn't want anyone else to read them when I was no longer here.
So one afternoon I gathered them all together, sat on the floor by my bed with a big garbage bag beside me and destroyed all those Journals. It was hours before I got up and carried the overflowing bag out to the garbage can. I felt a bit sad, but I felt I had done the right thing for me.
I haven't kept a consistent Journal since then. I tried just doing a prayer Journal, but I was too inconsistent. When I'm involved in a Bible Study, I just prefer to use that to write things down.
I do keep a little daily planner, but I have noticed that as time goes by I write less and less in that too. I put important dates on the calendar hanging on the kitchen wall and forget to write them in the planner. You'll laugh, but most days I would write my "to do" list after I'd already done everything - I suppose just to fill in the space and look busy.
The other day I saw an idea for making your own Journal on Ann's blog. I liked the idea and decided to try it. I bought a little artist sketch book (I debated about buying the large one, but it didn't seem as manageable for now.) Then I gathered all my old magazines together and began cutting out pretty pictures of the things that I like.
When I had a folder full of pictures, I began to paste them on the pages of my book. I've taken up a lot of space with the pictures, but that's all right because I just want to write down "occasional things" - something special I've read in my devotional time, something special that happens during the day, the blessings I am learning to look for in the dailiness of my life, a memento from a trip.... Those are the things I'd like to hold close right now.
I have gotten a few pages done, and I'm ready to begin. Here is a little peek at my new Journal:
As the children grew and one by one left the nest, I began to think that some of those secrets were best kept between the Lord and I. I wrote with no inner censor - just poured my heart out onto the pages - and some of the words could have proven hurtful without me there to explain. I didn't want anyone else to read them when I was no longer here.
So one afternoon I gathered them all together, sat on the floor by my bed with a big garbage bag beside me and destroyed all those Journals. It was hours before I got up and carried the overflowing bag out to the garbage can. I felt a bit sad, but I felt I had done the right thing for me.
I haven't kept a consistent Journal since then. I tried just doing a prayer Journal, but I was too inconsistent. When I'm involved in a Bible Study, I just prefer to use that to write things down.
I do keep a little daily planner, but I have noticed that as time goes by I write less and less in that too. I put important dates on the calendar hanging on the kitchen wall and forget to write them in the planner. You'll laugh, but most days I would write my "to do" list after I'd already done everything - I suppose just to fill in the space and look busy.
The other day I saw an idea for making your own Journal on Ann's blog. I liked the idea and decided to try it. I bought a little artist sketch book (I debated about buying the large one, but it didn't seem as manageable for now.) Then I gathered all my old magazines together and began cutting out pretty pictures of the things that I like.
When I had a folder full of pictures, I began to paste them on the pages of my book. I've taken up a lot of space with the pictures, but that's all right because I just want to write down "occasional things" - something special I've read in my devotional time, something special that happens during the day, the blessings I am learning to look for in the dailiness of my life, a memento from a trip.... Those are the things I'd like to hold close right now.
I have gotten a few pages done, and I'm ready to begin. Here is a little peek at my new Journal:
I am excited to begin. There is nothing better than a beautiful piece of paper waiting to be written on. I think this is going to work!
Blessings,
7 Comments:
I did the very same thing!
I threw away all my journals because I felt they were just for me, personal reflections of what I was going through at the time.
I started keeping a scrapbook journal as a result of seeing Jewel's when she was still blogging (although I had kept something similar but without prose).
You will love it!
I am also doing the same thing too! I love the idea of scrapbook journals. Have a look at The Simple Woman and her day journal, which is a lovely idea too.
I agree - some of the things I have written over the years are too personal to share. So they are going too.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful idea. I am not consistent in journaling. I was not consistent when I had a diary with a lock and key 35 years ago. I had a Bible teacher who once suggested if the material in our journals was sensitive, write code names. I have often laughed and thought picturing someone saying we don't have a Beaulah in the family, who's marriage did mom pray for...
I love that! I had read that on Ann's site too. Thought the idea so good...and those pages are a wonderful reflection of the heart of a person.
I know when Aimee and I were going through Wanda's sewing room after she passed away--we found little notes here and there---and it made it so special. I too have been so sporadic in journaling---actually --only recently found the very first one that I started...and there was a couple of years---when my girls were teens...that I could really tell what was hurting the most---I would go long months w/o writing a thing...then start back again. But this---this idea is appealing! AND a great way to use the magazines that are my favorites that I have kept tucked back in a box!
Great idea, Linda and I love the pictures that you selected. The only thing missing is the WORDS! You are so good with words, I'm sure they will easily flow unitl your journal is full. Starting with a clean slate can be so refreshing, like a new beginning. ENJOY!
I tried starting journals a few times but always ended up ripping out pages of stuff where I just poured out my heart. And the same thing. I thought if I passed away how would that person feel reading some of this. I didn't write to be hurtful but just to sort out feelings and hurts or confusions. But like you said without you there to explain it could cause hurts.
Love this other idea!
What a great idea for a journal...it's beautiful. I used to write in journals for years also but when my computer came along most of the hand-written journaling fell by the wayside. I have most of my old journals hidden away in my cedar chest. I have told my kids that they are free to read them when I die. ha I put a lot of my thoughts in there but never let myself "Pour my heart out".....intentionally.....so that I wouldn't have to worry about someone finding out something that I wanted to stay between me and God. That was probably wise of you to do what you did with your journals of old. Wise and brave.
Marilyn
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