Thursday, June 19, 2008
A Letter To My Father
This is your daughter - the one who has been so distant lately. I've missed You. Why is it that the times I need You most are the times I distance myself? Is it, perhaps, because I know just what it is You will say to me and don't want to hear it?
At the beginning of this year You gave me a word and then a verse to go along with it. The word was "Path" and the verse was Psalm 16:11. You know how I am about these things; how I tend to think a thing to death and in the process begin to question and doubt. Well You've made sure there was no doubt in this case. I felt such a conviction of the truth of it in my heart. You were calling me to set aside all my own dreams and desires and simply follow the path of Your choosing.
I did pretty well for a while Father, but then I wandered off on my own again. I guess I just didn't like the way the journey was going. In truth, I lost hope because I didn't think we were making any progress. I couldn't see anything good on the path.
I imagine You smiling about now. You know me so well. I hadn't really surrendered my life to You at all. I was still wrestling for control. I may have wandered off, but You never let me out of Your sight.
I was sitting in church Saturday when Pastor said that You had caused a certain word to stand out to him as he was preparing his sermon. The word was "PATH". Then he gave us verse after verse : Prov. 14: 2,12 Prov. 15: 10,19, 21 Prov.16: 17, 29 and Prov. 22:6. "Stay on the right path," he said, "and good things happen." I nearly jumped out of my seat.
Oh Father, how You love me. I, who am the least of Your children. You love me with a love that knows no bounds. You love me when I am so unlovely, so rebellious, so selfish and willful. You draw me close when I wander away. You extend such mercy and grace. Over and over You cleanse and fill and restore.
I love You Father. I nearly laughed out loud last evening when I went to the restroom before choir practice started and there on the door of the stall was a flyer with the word "PATH" in huge bold letters. Thank You - for loving me in spite of myself; for Your infinite patience.
Set my feet back on the path Father. I'm ready to go - just please hold my hand tightly in Yours. I don't want to wander off again.
With much love,