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Name: Linda

Location: Texas

I am a wife, mom and grandma. I am doing what I've wanted to do all my life. I am a Christian and I love the Lord.

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Monday, April 30, 2007
"Much - Afraid"
It is a "dark and dreary" day, but that's okay. I feel sunshine in my soul and that is due in
large part to your sweet, encouraging comments. I cannot adequately put into words what your love and friendship mean to me. You are the reason I blog and the reason I don’t want to stop. I just want to do it well.

When our Bible Study met for the final time last week, the co-leaders of our small group gave us all a book. It is “Hinds’ Feet on High Places” by Hannah Hurnard. Just between you and me, I was a little bit disappointed because I have this book and just recently read it. However, when I got home and had a chance to thumb through it I realized that it is also a devotional book. Tucked into every other page is a devotional related to that page of the book. I know the Lord put this book into my hands through the loving hands of my dear friends.

We are facing circumstances in our lives that can often qualify me to be called “Much – Afraid” (the timid little heroine of the allegory). Just when I think I have surrendered everything to the Lord and am walking by faith, the weight of the circumstances can render me helpless and “much afraid”. I had to confess to the Lord this morning, that although I have learned to trust Him and have experienced a great measure of His peace, there is a part of me that still hasn’t faced these circumstances head on. Rather I have somehow hoped and prayed He would just make them miraculously go away.

This morning I read in the introduction to this wonderful book”
“As Christians we know, in theory at least, that in the life of a child of God there
are no second causes, that even the most unjust and cruel things, as well as all
seemingly pointless and undeserved sufferings, have been permitted by God as
glorious opportunities for us to react to them in such a way that our Lord and
Savior is able to produce in us, little by little, His own lovely character.”…
“The lessons of accepting and triumphing over evil, of becoming acquainted with
grief, and pain, and, ultimately, of finding them transformed into something in-
comparably precious; of learning through constant glad surrender to know the
Lord of Love Himself in a new way and to experience unbroken union with Him-
these are the lessons of the allegory in this book.”

I confess that there is a part of me that clings fearfully to what I want to happen, rather than letting go and falling into the arms of a Loving Father. I cannot see the future and so there is that fear that comes from not knowing. When I have the faith to let go, to put absolute trust in Him, I find that promised peace that passes understanding flooding my heart. The first time it took me by surprise (Oh ye of little faith!). I just suddenly realized I wasn’t afraid any more. I want to stop wavering and stay in that place. I want to truly trust Him – no matter what the future holds. I want my whole heart to be His with nothing held back. I want that “pit in the stomach” that Heather talks about to be gone for good.

So I am taking this journey with Much-Afraid. I want to get to the High Places. I want to be all He has created me to be. I want my minutes, hours and days to be lived pleasing to Him. I want a heart that is fully surrendered.

  posted at 9:51 AM

At 11:07 AM, Blogger Laurel Wreath said...

Linda your heart blesses me each and every time I stop by. The book looks awesome.

At 7:43 PM, Blogger Susie said...

I didn't read your previous post until just now, and I am so happy you have found some peace today. I read this book a while back, but didn't know this journal existed. How wonderful that there are blessings in our struggles. You are such a blessing to me Linda. I always learn from your post, and I never expect a comment back. I will keep checking in on you, whatever you decide.

At 8:39 PM, Blogger Dawn said...

I just read your last post and say hear, hear to what everyone has said. I have told you before how much I love your writing. It inspires me and makes me think. I know you're having tough times that you're not blogging about, but know that we all care and would miss you very much. I love your comments to me as well - they always encourage me!

At 9:29 AM, Blogger Susie said...

I'm glad you feeling more at peace. This book loos as though it has so wonderful messages..

At 5:32 PM, Blogger Cyndi said...

I have always wanted to read this book. I think I'll put it on my "summer reading list." What you shared sounds like something I need as well. I am praying for you, my sweet friend.


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