Monday, October 30, 2006
My Contradictory Heart
Four Generations - My Mom - Me - My Daughter-in-law, and My Granddaughters
I think there are times when the Lord must just shake His head and smile. In fact, I think He may be doing that very thing right now – about me!
I have written about our wanting to sell our property and move because of all the commercial development that is slowly working its way to our front door. I’ve also told you how we added an apartment to our home a couple of years ago for my parents. And I have also written about how very special and dear my Mom is to me. She is the kind of person everyone seems to be drawn to – and I mean everyone. It doesn’t seem to matter what age or gender – she immediately becomes dear to everyone she meets.
We have been enjoying living so close to one another. I love being able to just “pop in” to her little apartment and sit and chat for a few minutes. It’s a joy to be able to do things together. I treasure every moment we have. It is so good not to have to anticipate the inevitable goodbyes after a visit. I used to get a knot in my stomach days before they were scheduled to fly home. How I dreaded those goodbyes at the airport.
So when we made the decision to sell, I knew it would be hardest on my Mom. I felt so “caught in the middle”. My husband is so unhappy here, and my Mom, on the other hand, is so content to be with us. We cannot afford to build a big home with a mother-in-law section for them so it was going to mean we would each have to find separate housing. I knew it would be all right with my Dad. He really misses having his own little place, but I dreaded telling my Mom.
When we told her, she accepted it with her usual grace. She said it would be fine. She understood why we wanted to move. However, one day (I guess she must have been a bit weary) she tearfully said to me, “I just want to stay here close to you.” I thought my heart would break. I began to pray earnestly that God would somehow work this all out. I asked Him to please do what was best for each of us. I just didn’t see a way in which everyone would be truly happy. At this point, I would have stayed here and put up with all the noise and confusion that has come with all these commercial buildings. But I knew how unhappy my husband was.
I continued to pray, and a few weeks ago my parents told us they had decided not to wait until we had a buyer for our property to look for a house. They wanted to be sure they had something in the event we had to move quickly. They both seemed fine with their decision. They began looking at houses with a real estate agent from their church. They have made some wonderful friends at the church they are attending (which is about a thirty minute drive from our house) and decided to look for houses in that area.
They narrowed their choices down to two and asked us to look at them with them. We all fell in love with the first little house we saw. It is darling. It is only a few years old and in immaculate condition inside and out. It is small but just the right size for them. And the best part is it was in their price range!! They made an offer on it this past week, and it was accepted. They are moving in a month!!! My Mom is delighted with this sweet little house. She is looking forward to getting it all decorated the way she would like it. What an answer to prayer.
So you would think I would be jumping for joy at the way things have worked out. It is really just perfect. We didn’t have to say “Mom and Dad, we’ve sold the property and you’re going to have to find a place and get moved out right away.” Instead they made the decision in their own time and have found a little house that is just perfect for them.
So…..I feel happy and sad. I’m sad at the thought of those empty rooms. I’m sad that they won’t be just a few feet away any more. I miss my Mom already. True, she will only be thirty minutes away, but it will be different. I already feel that little knot forming.
I know Lord. I am thankful. It is an amazing answer to prayer. I couldn’t have done it better myself!!! Forgive me for being so contradictory. You have worked everything out so perfectly, and I will be just fine. I love You Lord.