Thursday, January 22, 2009
The windows are open to let in the lovely breezes. I'm sure I've started more than one post just exactly this way, but it is such a gift to have the windows open to the fresh air, I just can't help myself. We spend so much time with the windows closed up tight and the a.c. going, it is a joy to open the windows and let the gentle wind blow through the rooms of our home.
It is a very quiet day here - absolutely nothing going on. Bliss. We went for a walk this morning, I called my Mom, put a load of laundry in the washing machine - and that was it! All those hours waiting to be filled.
I sat at the piano for a long time practicing. I think I'm making a bit of progress, but it is slow. I long for the day when I can just open a piece of music and play without first having to sit and figure it all out. The figuring gets easier though, and I am enjoying every minute of it. I'm trying to exercise this old brain as well as this old body.
Tomorrow we have a busy day at the V.A. A routine stress test for my husband. It is also my Dad's 89th birthday. We've been invited for cream puffs and coffee on saturday afternoon. My Mom makes the most delicious cream puffs, and everyone knows cream puffs must be eaten the first day. They get soggy if they have to sit around (not much chance of that!).
I've been thinking about the word I've chosen for this year - "HOPE". I have read some things lately that have challenged my ideas on praying. I don't want my prayers to be a laundry list of the things I want the Lord to do for me. I'm afraid they often are. Then when I don't receive answers, I feel discouragement creep in. I keep coming back to the idea of praying without ceasing, of talking to the Lord all through my day rather than at a specified time. I've been trying to do that, but it is always me talking. I long to hear His voice. I long for conversations. I want to sit at His feet, lean my head against Him and rest in His presence.
I'm afraid I've let too many other things take the place of that. He is always right where He has promised to be. I'm the one who keeps putting Him off - the pattern of a lifetime of taking Him for granted.
Our music minister said last night that God uses broken vessels. There have been circumstances in my life that have left me shattered, and I've run to Him. It is true that those are the times we grow closer to Him. But suppose the brokenness meant breaking free of habits of selfishness and rebellion that keep me doing those things I don't want to do and not doing the things I should do?
I've been pondering.....it is time to make new habits. That is part of the Hope that is in me. That He will make all things new. I have begun to realize that what is most important is what He wants to do in my life and the lives of those I love dearly. More important even than having Him say yes to all my prayers. I've been concentrating on the "fervently asking". I feel Him calling me to fervently seek Him and Him alone.
That picture isn't my window. It is courtesy of flickr. The grass is not green outside my window. I'm afraid it is rather dry and brown.