Sunday, December 16, 2007
Time to Heal
The overriding theme of so many of posts has been learning to trust the Lord in all circumstances. That is because for the past few years it has been the theme of my life. Without going into details (because it involves others who may not necessarily want to share so much in this particular way), I will say that our family has walked through the most difficult trial I could have imagined. When it first entered our lives, I struggled mightily. There was a long period of time when I could not even pray. But the Lord is loving, compassionate and infinitely patient. He finally brought me to the place of trust, and I thought I had at last surrendered completely to Him.
Several weeks ago during our study on The Fruit of the Spirit, Beth Moore talked about the characteristic of gentleness – describing it as bowing to the will of God. She spoke about the different kinds of trials God allows into our lives and our submission to them. She used Jesus and Job as examples. She said that submission involved more than right words and the desire to have the right attitude. We must ask God to come and do a work in our heart.
She spoke about how we suffer wounds during the trials and how those wounds will eventually need to be bound up. It takes time. She said, “Our allegiance is to trust a God who knows that somewhere on the other side is something glorious. If it was allowed, it must have a purpose.”
There is no denying the wounds, but as we allow God to work there is a healing that takes place. Once we have healed, “We bear the marks of the wounds of submission to God.” Those scars are for someone else to see and touch – our testimony that we made it, and they will too.
When I listened to Beth that day, I felt in my heart that I had reached that place of healing. However, about a month ago we were hit with another of those fearful diagnoses, and I found myself plunging back down into the depths. I managed to grab hold of the Lord and didn’t hit the bottom this time. I said all the right things and had the right attitude – but I find I have skipped the healing part this time. I feel wounded, and I need some time to heal.
This is rather “heavy stuff” for this wonderful season, but I just felt it would be all right to share my heart. I’m going to take a little time off to just allow the Lord to do the work in my heart that needs to be done. I find myself incapable of writing anything right now. I think I just need to rest in Him.
I will continue to visit you because the Lord uses you to minister to me in ways I cannot begin to describe. Perhaps I’ll write a little something now and then, and I’ll do my Laced With Grace devotional. I will come back bearing the scars but refreshed and renewed by His grace. And maybe He will allow me to encourage someone else who is walking through difficult times.
With much love,